Sometimes you never know what you’re up against. Being a girl, a young girl in society, I’m held to a lot of expectations. Straight hair, light skin, slim waist, beautiful face. I drown in the thoughts that trap me from what is on the outside of an individual. I choke on the burdens of being considered a “phenomenal woman.” I am depressed. I tip toe across the edge of the suicide we call society. I’m not considered human. I am not normal. I am not what I’m supposed to be—an American with pride. Instead, I curse myself into the nightmares of being me. I blame myself for being a part of a world that doesn’t need me
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Why can’t you hear me? Why can’t you see me? Why is it that every time I speak you seem to think you talk over me? Or ignore me altogether? Do you think I’m not good enough? Or that you’re better than me? Why? You live in a country that was built off the backs of my people. Those pretty southern mansions that you call “family manors” were built by my ancestors. Are you afraid that if you acknowledge my power it’ll lessen your’s? Are you afraid that I’ll take over? Afraid that one day I, a strong black woman, will run this little country of your’s? Is that why you make “colorblind”, so that they won’t acknowledge people of color, people like me? No, that can’t be it. Because, you see, ignore your own kind. Your white men go out and run this country while you leave your women unheard and ignored. But at least they exist, in this country not only am I not heard but I am not real. To be a black woman in America is to be magic, but it also to be the one that no one sees.
A Black Woman In America
Welcome to my laboratory, where I keep my eldest secrets, a place that knows more about me then I know myself, welcome to the place that holds my self doubts and the place who remembers every single flaw apart of me, welcome to the place that holds my insecurities, the place that reminds me that even though I am in America, the land of the free me myself has limited freedom, to the place where people words haunts me, the place that has no boundaries, welcome to the place that picks me apart inch by inch and show the raw form of me, the place that always lets me know that I am a female in the dark who's scared to really glow not because of what people questions, comments or concerns might be but simply because I am a female and supposedly, according to society I am not allowed to break from my strict role, welcome to my mind, where I can never forget, welcome to my cell where I can never escape, I welcome you with open arms to see where the hatred for my gender lives, I welcome you into my own personalized hell.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Setting: An amusement park advertisement. However the advertisement is the “super tall” Border Line that Trump promised to build. Mainly dry land. However, tons of Mexicans turned it into this fun excitement. Built underground tunnels, Boat rides, and playing tag. In the Underground, they built a rollercoaster made to look like a gold mine with lights hanging on top. The other side of the wall Mexican families will be “ playing one sided freeze tag” with border patrol. The boat rides show Mexicans having a party crossing over to American soil. Borderline by Madonna is playing in the background.
Teens:*sitting on the couch, texting, sighing, and watching TV*
Teenagers Mom: Get up off the couch and go outside! Come on, *points at window* the sun is shining. it’s summer. Go have some fun.
Teens:*Looks up at mom. Then turns away and continues to text and watch Tv*
Teenagers Mom:* turns at camera and sighs with disappointment*
Commercial Voice: Does this happen to you? Your kids stuck at home doing nothing?! Well now there’s a solution.
[ Madonnas’ Borderline song plays fadely. Camera changes to view of the border line. Camera shots at different angles.The words, “BORDERLINE AMUSEMENT PARK” spread across screen. ]
Commercial Voice: WELP, come on down to Borderline Amusement. Your kids will absolutely love it here.
[ Show mexican kids running around in the dry lots around wall.]
Commercial Voice: Here we have everything to keep your child busy. From underground roller coasters... *5 second pause.*
[Camera shot of immigrant families walking through an underground tunnel. Lights are set up to look like a underground train station. *there seems to appear a mexican conductor collecting tickets from the immigrants. He allows to pass through a darker tunnel handing them a flashlight. Everyone seems to be smiling and enjoying their day*]
Commercial Voice: For the more athletic, we have a game zone on the mainland. *says with excitement* It includes our widely popular game,Super Freeze Lazer Tag!
[Camera shot of border patrol cars chasing after immigrants running. Another camera shot of border patrol running on feet with tasers, shooting at immigrants running]
Commercial Voice: If you're a water kind of person, we have something for you too. Our very own water ride!
[camera shot of immigrants a boarding boat, while some dive in and swim. Another camera shot of cop boat stopping the immigrants boat. Another camera shot shows a few lucky mexicans making it to American shore on a party boat.]
Commercial Voice: If you like what you’re seeing, well hurry up and don’t miss your chance. It will be closing at the end of summer 2017 for remodeling. Yes that’s right! In the summer of Twentyneverteen it will reopen and be renamed… ahuh, you guessed it, the new and improved...BIGGER BORDERLINE AMUSEMENT! Funded by Mexico's Government. Now it will include a rock climbing station!
[Camera shot of immigrants climbing the wall by rope. Another camera shot of police helicopters swarming around the wall trying to tell them to “get down from the wall”]
Commercial Voice: So don’t waste your time and come on down to…. BORDERLINE AMUSEMENT!!!
[Last camera shot of the borderline. Back to camera shot in the teenagers moms’ house parking lot. There is their minivan being packed to leave on vacation. Action shot of the teens mom closing the trunk filled with luggage.]
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
She is strong, she is tall, she keeps her head held up high
She has wings, she can do almost anything
Forbidden Woman, that’s what they call her
She’s the woman that doesn’t make it to the blogs or gets caught on tape
She’s the one that works behind the scenes and know her role is more to play
She is the leader, the Wonder Woman, the creator of all things
No, she isn’t God, and no, she isn’t outside of mankind
She’s that woman that you see in your dream
The one that’s almost perfect, and has everything together for reality
Forbidden woman, you can say that’s me
We’re the ones that make a dream become reality
Hardworking at best, and nevertheless earning little recognition
Forbidden woman, for she is a queen
No messiness comes in between her and her favorite color green
Forbidden woman, yeah…that’s me
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
When it is my time, I’d choose to preach to all of my American sisters and brothers. To say this:
“In this country. The one below our tiny toes. There are millions waiting to be detangled from the prejudice system of government that our founding fathers built. The government officials now defeat the purpose of what this country meant to be. The land that ALL men and women seek to live in. Not just one race. If I were to run for this title, I’d make promises to do the best that I can for those who are victimised by our own country who promised to keep them safe. To make them comfortable in their own skin. A country that they can benefit from. Doesn’t matter who. Black, White, Muslim, Latino, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, e.t.c. My purpose as a civilized person is to reach out with the palms of my hands to those who’ve suffered for too damn long. To give my oppressed brothers and sister a country they deserved since that very day they were born. To give each child in America hope that one day they will actually become what they want without being stereotyped down to the core. To give anyone reason to live, that this country will actually move on to be better. That society will learn to accept that we all believe in different concepts. We all can agree that we can relate to is that the color of our blood is red. That we all want die knowing that we did everything possible for our next generation to carry on our legacy. We have more in common despite how we were raised. All of us want to be successful. So why do we choose to rip each other to pieces instead of building each other up? There is no competition with each other. The only competition is the time that we are wasting bullying one another.
No more wars. We must fix the domestic terrorism going on in our home before we can fix anything else. When has a president decided to really focus on education before war? When did our past presidents spend more money on education than weapons? Don’t expect to defeat your opponent when you can't even defeat the negativity going on within your team…”
But you know what? A speech like this would work only if America was ready to vote for a Hispanic Woman in office.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
SOMETIMES I SLEEP ALONE, AND NO, NOT PHYSICALLY. SOMEONE IS ALWAYS BESIDE ME, BUT MENTALLY, I BLOW WITH THE WIND. I GET LOST, I FEEL USELESS. I FEEL I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I CAVE INTO THE EXPECTATIONS OF A WOMAN: WHAT THEY SHOULD LOOK LIKE, HOW THEY SHOULD TALK, HOW THEY SHOULD WALK. I DON’T BELONG, OR AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT I THINK. EVERYONE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN’T BE A BREATHING CREATURE ON THIS EARTH. LIKE I SHOULDN’T BE A PART OF HUMAN SOCIETY. LIKE I SHOULDN’T BE AN IDEA IN SOMEONE’S MIND. LIKE I’M THE UGLIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I’M A JOKE, SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T FEEL THE MEANS OF EARNING RESPECT. I LOVE TO SMILE AND LAUGH, BUT I’M FILLED WITH SO MUCH NEGATIVITY BECAUSE OF WHAT OTHERS CHOOSE TO DO TO ME. THEN AGAIN, IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT. IT’S NO ONE’S FAULT BUT MY OWN. I CHOOSE TO BE A QUIET PERSON. I CHOOSE TO BE NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, AND I GET STONES CASTED AT ME BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE THIS WAY.
IF I TELL YOU MY HAPPINESS WAS STOLEN FROM ME, I WOULD BE LYING. I GAVE IT AWAY. I LET EVERYONE TAKE MY JOY AWAY. I LET EVERYONE STUMP MY HEART IN THE GROUND, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY…I DROVE AWAY PEOPLE WHO’S ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME BECAUSE OF ALL THE HURT OTHERS OUTSIDE OF THEM HAVE CAUSED. I’M ANGRY, WHICH MAKES ME BECOME A LONELY WOMAN. I DRIVE EVERYONE AWAY BECAUSE I THINK EVERYONE IS ALL THE SAME. THEY ALL EXPECT ME TO BE “PERFECT” LIKE SOCIETY SAYS. THEY ALL EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. THEY ALL WILL SOMEDAY HURT ME IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE. THEY ALL WILL LEAVE ME LIKE SO MANY OTHERS HAVE…THEY ALL WILL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I DON’T HAVE A PLACE ON EARTH. LIKE I DON’T HAVE A SAY IN THIS WORLD. LIKE I SHOULDN’T HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE THE BREATH OF LIFE. LIKE I SHOULD DIE.
I HATE WAKING UP IN THE MORNINGS, BECAUSE I KNOW I’M AWAKE. I KNOW I’M NOT NUMB FROM THE PAIN. I KNOW I’M NOT ABLE TO STOP ALL THE DESTRUCTION THAT’LL SOON COME MY WAY. I ALSO HATE FALLING ASLEEP, BECAUSE I KNOW I WON’T STAY ASLEEP. I WANT TO DROWN IN MY OWN THOUGHTS. I WANT MY EMOTIONS TO CHOKE ME IN DESPAIR. I WANT TO SEE BLACKNESS IN THE CLEAR BLUE SKY. I WANT TO DECEASE MY PHYSICAL BEING ON HOLY GROUND AND RUN AWAY FROM ALL HUMAN KIND. I WANT TO BE GONE, BECAUSE I AM A LONELY WOMAN, AND LONELY WOMEN, BY SOCIETY, DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE.