Uncomfortable. Like any hideous baby feels when an even uglier person is playing along with ITS toys. Once at an out of town supermarket, I couldn’t go down an aisle without people staring at my face, just trying to decode if I am white or not. I guess my ethnicity seems to be way more interesting than the lady next to me carrying hundreds of ALWAYS Maxi Pads packs. Their gaze can be so intense, it is as if they’ve never seen a Hispanic in its natural habitat. Like a safari ride, watching “the wild” through bulletproof windows.
I remember I went shopping after the presidential election. I went to a close Marshalls. Just imagine the red dot painting, that was the scene. I specifically went to the juniors coat aisle, to see the options they obtained. A white lady had a similar idea. When she looked up to see me walking towards her, her eyes squinted in disappointment. However, this wasn’t this worse thing she could do. As soon as my fingers shuffled through the coat rack, she decided to flee. It wasn’t like she was there for a while. We got there at the same time. I may be overreacting, but i can’t help myself. Why else would she leave? Again I may be overreacting. I mean, after all, she did come back to the aisle...after I left.
I have been told that I am emotional when it comes to strangers staring at me in public places, like soccer games, malls, restaurants, or being the only young person at church bingo nights, and supermarkets. Compare it to walking in with a light up sign saying ugly on my face, but with pretty cursive letters. Anyways. You get the point. Nothing really can be done in this situation. All I can do is wait for a better day.
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